GO Fever!!!!!!!!

I am still processing my Philly trip and everything that lead up to it. In short it was a disaster and a lot of it was my fault. I was not careful enough in the preparation and I made some disastrous decisions over the course of almost an entire year. I made decisions that overrode some serious internal alarms. NASA calls it "Go Fever" and when go fever sinks its teeth into any project or endeavor it never ends well.

My first lesson from the fallout is that there is good reason why many Lakota spiritual leaders have an Indians only policy regarding ceremony. Yes some of them just are not fond of white people but there is another deeper reasoning. Most non Indians have not been raised or understand the base culture. It is not that non Indians can not learn the proper expectations and cultural attitudes but that people new to our ways have not spent enough time at or in ceremony to understand the how, whys, and whats of ceremony.

My first and greatest mistake was that I could instill that understanding in a person who had very little exposure to Lakota ceremony in less than a years time. It is entirely my fault to think I could adequately prepare someone, and their family, for a major ceremony in so short a time. This is not the fault of my former friends and I should have said. Maybe we do this in a couple years, but no, everyone wanted to push forward as quickly as possible.

I provided as much information as I could. I figured that by carefully explaining what was going to happen, how it was going to happen, and what materials, provisions, and facilities were needed that my friend and his family would be ready. I know now that lists, and speaking are just not enough. Someone must experience the ceremonies as helpers for years before a true understanding can begin to occur. Even fullblood Lakotas are expected to assist with ceremony for 4 years before jumping in themselves. This four years of assisting, watching, doing and learning is important, especially if one has not had much previous exposure to ceremony. I took a short cut. I, in a prideful way, believed that I could have this man and his family ready in 10 months. Go Fever!

Mistake 2

I had to teach too much. I had to carefully explain the basics of preparation of the materials needed by the person going through the ceremony. The fact that I had to assist so much was a warning sign I should not have ignored. They were my friends, they wanted this so very badly. In an effort to not fail them I did fail them. I should have said "Not this year". I am quite sure that statement would have caused trouble but the result would have been less painful than what eventually transpired. I ignored serious gaps in basic knowledge. To my friends credit he did many things right. He carved his own canumpa or pipe that he needed for the ceremony, a task many Lakotas do not perform. It was the small details that we all take for granted that were lacking. I had to teach him how to make prayer ties and the flags necessary for the ceremony. This was a red flag that I ignored. Simple details that I take for granted because I have lived this way for decades and though it may be basic knowledge for me were beyond the scope of experience for my friend. Go Fever!

Mistake 3

The ceremony was to take place here in Colorado on land owned by mutual friends. To use this land we had to make the facilities necessary to perform the ceremony. That would take time and effort. That time and effort would have helped to prepare him and his family for the ceremony to come. Unfortunately my friend broke his leg in early spring and he was unable to do any hard labor for about 6 weeks. That was a major set back and once again I should have said "Not this year." We were not able to build the sweat and gather the materials on the land that were necessary for the ceremony. However they came up with a solution, Go Fever!

Mistake 4

My friends are from PA. Our mutual friends who own the land in Colorado also live in PA and they have a sweat lodge and a place to run ceremony. My friends planned a full family vacation to the east coast and wanted to include the ceremony into the trip. They would use the facilities in PA. They would fly me out to lead the ceremony and fly me back to Colorado when it was complete. Once again I should have said "No way, bad idea" but once again everyone wanted it, even I wanted it at this point. I had worked nearly a year to get my friend and his family as ready as I could. For final preparation I went over the list and expectations yet again.

"Do you have everything you need?"
"Yes"

At this point I should have insisted that I be shown the ceremonial materials, but I am a trusting person. If my friends say they have everything they need well I will believe them. I called the couple in PA with the land.

"Is everything ready?"
"Yes"

Ok we are all good to go. I just need to get on a plane and get to PA.

I need to go on a tangent here but it is an important one. I am very grounded I know the land out here. That is not the case with the North East. Everything is different, vegetation, birds, is and completely unfamiliar.

I get off the plan in Philly, It is hot and very humid. I meet up with the family on the land and realize that things had gone wrong. The sweat lodge was attacked and the covers destroyed. We need to get replacements. I also discovered that my friends did not have everything on the list I provided. A mad scramble is initiated to get the necessary items. Time is ticking away, my friend wanted a 3 day ceremony. Because this whole thing was wrapped up in other activities there were hard deadlines to be met.

Ceremony should be ceremony, you can not wrap it up with other activities. also trying to do the obvious easy way or trying to cut corners can result in bad outcomes. By this time everything is rapidly starting to fall apart around me. Once again I should have said "No, not this year" but we were all there and minus a few small but important details everything was ready to go. To much had been invested by everyone so we all attempt to push through it.

Mistake 5

The ceremony was supposed to start on Friday morning, the hours were spent getting the final materials for the ceremony together. finish the sweat lodge, cut wood, find a wool blanket. I was told that this was all taken care of. I pushed on, and so did everyone else. It is near sundown and I get my friend to his ceremony spot. My instructions regarding prayer ties were not followed and what resulted was a tangled mess. We spent the next hour and a half trying to untangle the ties and then decided that it would be a good prayer full job for my friend. We came down and he was up and rolling.

that evening we discovered that one of the kids was not only allergic to the cats in the house but the walnut trees in the yard. Need to find a place for the kids now. The temps for the weekend were going to be in the 90's with very high humidity.

There was conflict over the blanket, there was conflict over allergies, then there was conflict over the weather. It was a never ending assault on Sat. All day Saturday I had Riders on the Storm in my head. I had no idea why at the time.

My friend wanted 3 days on the hill, but we missed one day due to getting stuff together. so on Sunday morning we broke protocol and went up and spoke with my friend. The schedule was to bring him down on Sunday evening but to complete three days that would now by Monday evening. I compromised yet again and said we should bring him down Monday morning and call it good. Considering the conflict and how everything was going wrong I strongly felt that I should just pull him off the hill on Sat morning but that was not going to happen. I was the only one who felt this way and I did not listen to even myself at this point. My friend had to have his 3 days no matter what.

My friend's decision to stay 3 days and come down on Monday and not on Saturday caused a final massive explosion from his wife. My friend comes racing down the hill, contrary to his wife's cry that he was in serious physical danger and was either dying or going to die at any moment.

It would do no good to go into any further details of the incident other than the final outcome is.

My friend spent only 2 days on the hill, not the 3 he wanted.
Lots of hurt feelings and mistrust.

In the end it was all for nothing, all that time, energy, materials, money... poof gone. all due to massive cultural misunderstanding, attempts to cut corners and make things easy, and my own pride and unwillingness to listen to my own internal alarms.

Never again will I succumb to Go Fever in regards to ceremony, there is far to much at stake to do so ever again.