To Dance Gazing at the Sun

I am a sun dancer.....

To most that means nothing.

Some recognize it but their only exposure has been from Hollywood.

A select few know exactly what I am saying. To those the know I ask them to relax. I will not be giving details, this is not a how too.

Sun dance is not the correct term. The Lakota word is Wi wang yang wacipi, it means to dance gazing at the sun. The dance is not a right of passage. It is not a right of anything but a deeply personal choice and expression of faith and love. It is a demonstration of thanks, a sincere request for help, the completion of personal vision. Each man and woman who commits to the dance has individual reasons for doing so.

Many Nations of the plains have sun dances. They are all very different yet are all the same in that those who commit to perform the ceremony must suffer greatly. They go without food and water for 4 days in exhausting prayer. Dancers are isolated from friends and family, their world is the dance arbor, the songs, and their prayers.

People ask what it is like to sun dance, and I am at a loss for words. How do I describe the indescribable? I would think that Neil Armstrong feels the same way when asked "what is it like to walk on the moon?" I struggle to find a common reference. Most people do not go 4 days without liquid and those that do certainly do not do such a thing willingly. People understand hunger but the idea of a thirst so strong that you do not even think of food....

so what is it like?

The sun is relentless, there is no shade and until recently no sun block. If the stones are not bruising your feet the grass is cutting them to ribbons. Your body is exhausted, sleep deprived and cramped. By the end of the dance you feel as though your entire body is shriveled up, the saliva in your mouth becomes a thick foul tasting paste. I am Lakota so along with that is the piercing.

The piercing gathers the most attention. It is real and people can relate to it better than the thirst. It has also been featured in some films in a highly exaggerated fashion. The skin of the chest is pierced and a small piece of wood or bone is inserted. a rope is then tied to the pin, the other end is tied to a tree placed at the center of the dance arbor. The dancers then dance and pull against these ropes till the skin breaks thus freeing the dancer.

Oyate yanipi ktelo - So that others my live

The piercing is an offering, a sacrifice of the only thing that a person truly owns for the good of others. Does it hurt, well it certainly does not tickle but it is also far from excruciating. I have hurt myself more at midnight stubbing my toe getting ice cream from the fridge. It is more symbolic than anything else. It is not cruel and it is not torture by any stretch of the imagination and it is all by choice. No one is forced to dance.

You bond with your fellow dancers, they become closer than brothers. At the end of 4 days of suffering you take a few bites of your coming out feast, it is amazing how little you eat after a 4 day fast, push the plate away and start making plans for next year. You forget about all the conversations you had on the 3 day about how insane you are, how much you hurt, how much you miss your family, how much you just want water and how you could be doing anything else but baking in the sun....

I danced for 8 years. I am pretty much retired now. I sit on the drum. It is my job to sing the songs that keep the dancers in prayer. I may dance again, I might feel the need to give of myself in such a way again. I would not give it up for the world. This is what I do, if you wish to do it too, I will spend many hours trying to talk you out of it.

Now if you think the dance is hard, wait till you have to follow the sun dance way the other 361 days of the year.... but that is another post.

For all you dancers thank you

For all those pledged to the tree thank you

For all those that support their dancers thank you.